Reality Bites
by SeaghanRain
Summary: Tony Perkins. James Dean. One of those romance stories.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Knock Knock!

I heard loud knocking on my front door. I looked over at my clock.

3:35 A.M blared angrily at me in red block font on the other side of the room.

I groaned and crawled out of bed and inched down the hall, cursing this early morning company the whole way to the door.

"Who the hell comes to someone's house at this damn hour...?"

I opened the door and a small, frail silhouette stands hunched in the doorway.

I grunted. "Who are you?"

The silhouette stepped forward and I saw it was my friend, James Dean.

I attempted a smile despite my tired face muscles, but James' expression told me the reason he'd come was not a smiling matter.

His big blue eyes shimmered with tears. He walked past me and plopped down on the couch. His whole figure seemed to sink into the upholstery.

James leaned forward and put his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment or two, but then his whole body began to shake violently.

I didn't say anything at first, just stood and watched. When I opened my mouth to try and offer sympathy, James spoke.

"Jade...Jade..." He sobbed. "I..."

"What is it, Jimmy?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"It's Pier...I can't...I can't...see her anymore."

Good. I thought to myself. Good riddance.

But what I said was, "What do you mean? Why can't you see her?"

"Because her mom can't fucking stand me." He said, falling sideways onto a pillow on the sofa.

I sighed. wondering how i could comfort him. I really didn't like Pier. She seemed very shallow and immature for Jimmy. Jimmy had so many interests in life and I felt Pier wasn't ready for that. Yeah, she was beautiful, but what else had she to her, besides beauty and so-called promising acting career?

I remembered the first meeting with her. I'd come to see James at the Warner Bros' Studio. I walked into his dressing room, and there she was, lounging on a couch with james, stroking his hair.

"Sorry." I said, my dark brown skin positively turning red. "I'm sorry to interrupt you. I just wanted to speak with James."

Jimmy's face lit up and bounce over to me, scooping me up in his arms for a hug. His shirtless body was sweaty and his pants were undone.

I glanced over at Pier, whose large green eyes stared intently at me.

Jimmy let me go and turned to her. "Annarellaaaaaa, this is my friend Jade."

I could tell she wasn't happy to see me. Her eyes studied me still, every inch of skin that might have been showing, my black pants, my shirt, my sneakers. everything.

Pier's face contorted into a smile after what seemed like forever. She stood up, wearing only a slightly oversized shirt (which i assumed belonged to Jimmy), and when she got close enough, she extended a dainty hand.

"Pleased to meet you." She said.

I remember feeling like my West African accent was ugly, and that I butchered the English language when I opened my mouth to speak. Her Italian accent was smooth, soft, European, and "lady-like".

I grasped her hand and shook. "Nice to meet you to. I've heard many stories about you from Jimmy."

Pier tilted her head to the side and her smile grew wider. "Oh really? I haven't much if anything about you, Jade."

She spat my name out like venom.

I looked over at James, who was staring at me.

I opened my mouth, unsure what to say next. This was by far the most UNCOMFORTABLE situation I'd been in, in a while.

"Um...Well, I guess, I should be going." I said, laughing nervously.

Before anyone could say anything else, I turned and walked through the still open door.

James came out right behind me.

"Jade...Jade!"

I turned towards him. "Yes?"

"What is it you wanted to ask me?" Jimmy said

"Oh..it's...nothing." I said, deciding that he would much rather hang out with his Italian lover than with me.

"Oh...Alright. Well, I'll see you later." James said, and turned to go back in his dressing room with Pier.

After the door was closed, I stood for a second wondering what they did together when they were alone.

I heard laughter, Pier's and Jimmy's emanating from the room.

"Why does she TALK like that?" Pier laughed.

I knew she was talking about me.

"I really have no clue." James said, laughing too.

Tears stung my eyes and at that point, I decided it best to leave.

"JADE! Are you listening to me at all?" I heard James yelling.

"Huh? Oh...yes, I'm listening. Um..."

James sighed. He looked like someone had squeezed all his insides out and he was just an empty case now.

We both stayed silent for a moment or two. Then James began to speak.

"Do you think we could use your place to meet up?" He asked.

I looked at him, as if to try and confirm the ridiculous question had really been asked.

"What?"

:I know it's a lot but...I gotta see her, Jade. Please? You gotta help me. You're my best friend. And if you don't do this, Pier and me, we'll never see each other again."

Every line of reasoning James gave made me even more reluctant.

"Please, Jade. Do this for me." Jimmy pleaded.

"But, I really don't think..." I started. I looked over at Jimmy who's eyes were full to the brim with tears.

I sighed deeply. "Alright. You guys can meet here."

James laughed loudly, so loud it frightened me.

"Thank you so much!" James said, "You have no idea how much this means."

I forced a smile. "I know. Trust me, I know."

Jimmy lunged forward and hugged me tightly. Feeling his warmth against me, seeing his happiness, and knowing that it was because of Pier cut, right down to the white meat, the bloody core.

I pulled away.

James didn't notice. He sprang up and headed for the door.

The last thing he said before leaving was "We'll probably need your place tomorrow afternoon. I'll call you and tell you the exact time!"

Then he closed the door and left me alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
The next day, Jimmy phoned around 3:00 in the afternoon.  
He got right to the point. "Pier and I will each be there at around 4:30. Is that fine with you?"  
No. I thought. I don't want her in my home. She's ugly and she's rude.  
I sighed. "Yeah, I'll...be here to open to door for you and then I'll be out. You guys have the place to yourself."  
Jimmy laughed, sounding relieved. "Thanks so much, Jade. You're amazing."  
Then he clicked off, leaving me to sulk.  
I began cleaning my place up, all the while thinking about how Pier Angeli (or Peanut Butter And Jelly as me and my friends called her) would be in my house, alone, with Jimmy. Who knows what they'd do while they were here? Okay. I think anyone witha working brain could figure it out but even so, The thought alone made me want to vomit.  
At 4:23, I heard knocks on my door and I prepared myself for the worst, the long stare and the backhanded compliments on my outfit from Pier.  
I took a deep breath, and made my way to the door. When I opened it, I was surprised to my friend Tony. Tony Perkins, whose real first name was Anthony, was my best friend, next to Jimmy, and like Jim, was one of the 4 (Well 5 if you count two mixed race) white friends I had.  
He grinned wide and ran a bony hand through his slick black hair. I loved Tony because he (just like the rest of our friends) was a misfit, just like me, with his oversized button down shirts and baggy pants. Other guys were too stuck up to dress like him. They thought him slovenly and unkempt. But I admired him.  
"Hi." He said, "What's going on?"  
I rolled my eyes. "Nothing."  
He stepped past me into the living room and plopped down on the couch.  
"You're lying."  
I sighed and closed the door. "Maybe I am. But you can't stay."  
Tony furrowed his brow and looked at me through squinted eyes.  
"And why is that?" He asked.  
"Because Jimmy is..."  
"Oh, Jimmy." He mocked. "I swear, he's all you think about these days."  
I sat down next to him. "He is not."  
"He is too. You and your little Jimmy boy." He said.  
Something about the way he was mocking me didn't feel like joking. It just seemed mean, cold. Not his usual way of playing but like he was meaning to hurt me.  
I frowned. "It's not like that. He's having Peanut Butter And Jelly over here. I told them they could use my place."  
"And why the hell would you do something like that? After what she said about you? And after James laughed at what she said about you?"  
I stared blankly at Tony who was clearly waiting for a response, and I could tell it needed to be a good one.  
"Well, I uh...I..."  
"You just couldn't resist those big soulful eyes and those eyelashes when they batted and he begged you to have his amore shacked up at your house?"  
"Look, I.." I started but another knock came at my door.  
Gosh. I wasn't ready for this. I just wasn't fucking ready.  
Whatever reason I had to agreeing to let James and Pier meet here, that reason was now standing at my door with a little Italian girl that I hated. And they were both knocking.  
I opened my door to see both James and Pier standing on my front steps, engaged in a deep kiss.  
I opened my mouth to speak but was almost afraid to. I didn't notice when Tony walked behind me and loudly cleared his throat.  
"Excuse me, but may I ask, why you two are sucking face on my friend's porch?"  
Jimmy and Pier separated and looked at Tony and I. Pier said nothing, just gave the preliminary stare down,as i'd planned (and dreaded).  
James shot Tony an irritated glance but ignored his remark and spoke to me instead. "Jade, thanks again for this. I owe you one."  
I gave him a half smile and, grabbing my keys off of the hook right near the door, stepped out, Tony coming out right behind me. James and Pier stepped in and the door closed behind us.  
"Well, you've got who knows how many hours of misery ahead of you, before those two finish with whatever. Why don't you spend them with your real friends down at Barrie's?" Tony asked, leaning on his car.  
I shrugged. Anything was better than thinking about Jimmy at this point.  
Barrie's was my place to hang out with all my friends, including Jimmy, before he started dating Pier, and one of the only places that mingled between races was accepted at that time.  
Tony and I scoped the area, our usual booth in the back of the restaurant, where our friends would usually be sitting, but it was empty. Tony and I went back and sat down.  
I was silent and stared down into my lap.  
Tony got up and got us two coffees, a blueberry muffin for himself, and a chocolate chip one for me.  
I sipped my coffee and took nibbles from the muffin, but stayed silent.  
"What's with you?" Tony said after at least 15 minutes of saying nothing.  
"Huh?" I said, looking up at him. "Oh, nothing. I already told you that."  
Tony shook his head. "And I told you that I think you're a liar. You obviously are thinking about something and I wanna know what it is. Like...now."  
I sighed. "Um...okay. I just didn't really want James and Pier in my house."  
"Then why did you agree to let them have their little rendezvous there?"  
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just...I don't like Pier. You already know that. I dont like her and...that's all. But James is like a brother to me..."  
Tony laughed out loud. "A brother? Please, Jade. You're in love with him. And you're jealous because he's in love with Ravioli and not you."  
"Damn! Why are you being so mean?"  
Tony shrugged. "I just specialize in reality and sometimes reality bites."  
I shook my head. "Whatever. I'm not in love with James. I just think Pier is flighty and way too immature for Jimmy. He deserves just so much more than her."  
"I really can't understand how you can love him." Tom said, completely ignoring what I said. "He's so mean to you. He uses you and, in my opinion, doesn't care about your feelings. Did he ask you if Pier could come to your house? Or did he tell you?"  
"Well, he..."  
"And do you think he doesn't know that you heard Pier and him LAUGHING at your accent?"  
I blinked twice while he continued to talk.  
"Even better question. Do you think he thought about whether you'd want Pier in your house after the time you heard her mocking you and all the times she's been rude to you? Oh no, wait. Even BETTER question. Do you think he cares? He doesn't, Jade. He doesn't care about you. You're nothing to him."  
Tears stung my eyes bad and i tried to blink them away but I really only made them spill over onto my cheeks. James was horrible to me. I thought of all the times it seemed our friendship was one-sided. The times I felt like he used me because he felt like I had something to offer him. I'd been stupid. Jimmy was a USER.  
I put my face in my hands and cried.  
I felt Tony's skinny arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him.  
"You're such an idiot." He said, and i could feel his chest shake as he laughed.  
"But I'm one too." He whispered. His warm breath in my ear and his arms wrapped around me made me feel a little bit better. I believe the word is: Safe. Something James never cared if I was or not. So not as long as he got what he wanted.  
He rocked me back and forth until I stopped crying.  
Then he said, "Let's go to the park."  
There was a park around the corner from my house. Since it had gotten a bit dark, it was completely deserted. Tony and I sat down on the swing set.  
"I hate him." I said. "He's dead to me."  
"No, he's not." Tony said, smiling. "You do love him, Jade. You really do and when you're in love with somebody, it's not so easy to just fall out of love with them. Trust me. I've got a lot of experience with that."  
"I know. I just feel so dumb. I should know when someone doesn't value me."  
Tony looked at me. "I value you. You're important to me. I know I'm not a bad boy with perfectly fucked up hair and a fast car, but, I care for you, Jade."  
I smiled. "I know, Tony."  
"No..You don't know." Tony said, taking a short pause.  
Then he continued, " I've been trying to hide this for so long, since the day I met you."  
I looked at Tony and he looked back at me. I stood up from the swing and he stood too. I knew something weird was about to happen.  
"And I was hoping my feelings would go away, because you're so amazing, and I didn't want to scare you off, and...I didn't want to get hurt because I know how you feel about James. But seeing him hurt you makes me so angry and I can't stand to see you unhappy. I had to say what I had to say because otherwise, he was just going to keep hurting you. But when I held you in my arms tonight, I realized I didn't want to hide my own feelings for you anymore."  
I stood and stared at him, frozen. I shifted from foot to foot, nervously. Yep. Weird.  
"Ummm..." Tony said, then he stepped forward. He looked down for a moment, then made eye contact with me. He took one step closer, leaned forward, hesitated, but then, he kissed me.  
Not a serious soap opera dramatic kiss or anything. Just a simple kiss, but my heart skipped beat. I stepped away from Tony and he smiled his usual goofy dimpled smile and shoved his hands in his pockets.  
Even in the semi-darkness, I could see in the light of the streetlights around us, that his face was flushed a soft hue of pink.  
"I'm trying to say that I'm here, Jade. I've always been right here."  
I blinked and said nothing, just stared blankly at him.  
Tony's smile faded and his dark brown eyes filled with sadness and worry, confusion.  
"Are you okay? Say something."  
I had no idea what I should say, that wouldnt sound stupid or hurt his feelings but I think I ended up doing both of those things when I said, "Uh, well I gotta go...home now."  
Before he could respond, I spun around and started walking home.  
I think he yelled something to me that sounded like "I'm sorry." but I made no move to clarify, just ignored him and kept walking as fast as I could.  
When I got to my house, both James and Piers' cars were still parked outside. I sighed, pullling out my keys and opening the door, slightly. I was afraid of what I might see.  
Pier was lounging on my couch, combing her hair. James walked out of the bathroom the moment I came in.  
"Oh, hey! You're back. We were just about to get going." Jimmy said. "Just let me get my shoes out of your room and we'll be out."  
Jimmy disappeared into my bedroom. A quick thought flashed through my head but it was too disturbing and I quickly blocked it out.  
Pier smiled her cheshire smile and said, "You really are a lovely girl."  
I squinted my eyes, suspicious of her motives. "Thank you."  
"Of course. But...you really should do something about that nose ring and that shaved head. It's unsightly. And those clothes, that belly showing. Not fit for a lady." Pier continued, still smiling, still running a comb through her brunette hair.  
I started to tell her that some of these things were because of my home culture and things that were considered beautiful in my home town, but I decided none of this mattered to her. She wasn't doing this for clarification on why I was the way I was. She wasn't giving me some type of woman-to-woman advice. She was doing it to amuse herself.  
I opened my mouth to retort, to tell her to get out of my house, but just as I started, Jimmy walked back in, smiling.  
"Ready to go, Annarella?"  
Pier stood up and sauntered past me. "Bye, bye." She said without turning around.  
Jimmy hugged me and kissed my cheek. "Thanks, again,chocolate bunny. I really do owe you."  
Thinking about Tony and what he said, made me angry that Jimmy was so happy at my expense. I wanted to shove him.  
James let go and headed out the door, and I glared him the whole way.  
When he was gone, and I heard both of their engines start up, I sat down on my couchm almost twice as dejected as I'd been when I left a few hours earlier.  
I had no idea what to do about Tony, and I had no idea how to handle Jimmy and Pier.  
But I knew one thing.  
I probably needed to wash my sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
I'm not going to lie and say that after that day, I didn't avoid both Tony and Jimmy like the Red Death.  
Tony called and left several messages on my machine wanting to know when he could see me so we could talk. He said it was 'urgent'. He said he just wanted to know if I was okay.  
Jimmy's messages were urgent too but not because he was worried about me, but because he needed more opportunities to see Pier.  
"Jade, I really need this. Will you answer me? I have a little while between shoots on the set and I really would like to see Pier this afternoon. Call me back and let me know will you?"  
I wouldn't. He wasn't even really asking me if I was cool with it. It was just "do this for me because I need it and nothing else. It's not about you."  
Plus, I had just de-Pier-ified my house (and possibly de-james-ified my bed sheets.) and I wasn't about to do that again. They'd have to find some other place to get freaky. As far as I was concerned, neither Pier nor Jimmy existed to me anymore.  
At around 3:30 a week and a half later, I arrived home from my morning classes at UCLA to find flowers on my doorstep, white roses, with a note sticking out. I brought the flowers in the house and read the note.  
"Hi, Jade. I know you probably don't wanna talk to me right now after what happened. I hope I haven't freaked you out too bad. I love you, but I completely understand if you don't feel the same way. I don't want to lose you.  
- Anthony"  
My heart sunk. Tony was so sweet. I felt like I'd be doing him an injustice if I didn't at least talk to him.  
I stood, re-reading his note a few more times until I heard foot steps approaching behind me.  
I turned around slowly, to see James standing in my doorway.  
"You left your door wide open." Jimmy said, closing the door behind him. "You could've let a stranger in."  
"It let you in. I suppose that's bad enough." I said.  
"What's that supposed to mean? And why have you been avoiding my calls? And who are the flowers from?" Jimmy said, inspecting the roses sitting in their vase on the kitchen counter.  
"None of your business. Leave them alone. Why are you randomly showing up at my house? And asking ME all of these questions?"  
"I needed to ask you in person since you've been screening my phone calls. I need your place again. Pier's mother is starting to take full control and we need..."  
"I don't care what you need." I snapped.  
James seemed taken aback at sudden outburst. "What?"  
"I said, I don't care what you need. You can't use my place anymore. Pier is rude to me and you let her be. You take part in her stupidity and I can't take it anymore. I can't take YOU anymore. You're a bad friend, a phony, a user and I want you GONE." I said, pouring all my pent up frustatrion out like word vomit.  
James stood and stared at me, blinking every so often. "What's your problem all of a sudden?"  
"This isn't all of a sudden. It's been a long time coming. I want you out. It's time for you and mostaccioli to find some other place to screw. Don't ever call me to ask me for anything again because the answer is 'no'."  
Jimmy's face darkened and his expression slowly changed from Blond shock and contorted into a face he'd never given me before, one that said, "Fuck you."  
"Well, who needs you then? Pier and I are going to get married and you're not invited to the wedding! You're a bitch anyway. I don't know why I'd ever be friends with someone like you."  
James stormed past me and towards the door.  
But he turned around and said "And let me tell you something else. You let that Anthony kid get your life all fucked up. You think you're the shit but you're really just a piece of trash!" Then he slammed the door so hard when he left that my whole house shook.  
I shrugged and sat down on the couch and looked over at my phone, contemplating whether I should call Tony or not. I weighed the pros and cons and in the end the pros won. I picked up the phone and dialed.  
Every ring made me want to hang out more and more but he picked up eventually.  
"H-hi, Tony." I said, my voice cracking. "How are ya?"  
"I'm as good as you are. How are you?"  
"I'm...a little...fried. My nerves are fried." I said, and then I proceeded to tell him what had just happened with James.  
"Good. He's an asshole. He doesn't deserve your friendship or anything else you have to offer."  
I smiled but then i swallowed hard and said. "Tony?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm really sorry that I've been avoiding you. That wasn't fair."  
"It's okay. I'm just happy to hear from you. Did you get your flowers? And the note?"  
I grinned, looking over at the flowers sitting in my kitchen. "Yes I did, Thank you. That was really sweet."  
We both stayed silent a moment. I was trying desperately to think of something to say. Finally i just blurted out  
"Come out to the movies with me tonight?"  
"I would love to." Tony said, letting out a breathy laugh. "I'll get you at 7:00 okay?"  
I laughed a little too. "Great. See you in a little bit."  
After I hung up, I felt...happy. The bad mood I'd been in because of James was now a feeling of happiness, because of Tony. I didn't care that I no longer had a friend in James, because now I realized I never had a friend in him. But now I had more than a friend in Anthony.  
Tony showed up at my door a few minutes early. He was dressed a little different than his usual jacket and jeans.  
He had on khaki slacks . He still had on one of his plaid buttondown long sleeved shirts but it was neatly tucked into his pants, which were, for the first time, belted. He'd traded in his sneakers for brown loafers. His hair was combed perfectly into place. My mouth automatically formed a smile when I opened the door.  
"You clean up nice."  
"So do you." Tony said, referring to my dress, which happened to be the same colors, pale blue and orange, as his shirt. "Stylish minds think alike, yes?"  
He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house so quickly I barely had time to close the door behind me.  
We decided to see The High And The Mighty at the Movieplex 17.  
In the dark theater, no one really paid attention to the fact that a white boy and a black girl were on a date together.  
Some time during the film, Tony's large hand wrapped around my hand and his fingers intertwined with mine. I rested my head on his shoulder.  
Everything was perfect, except a constant giggling in the theater while the movie was going on. Now...the film was a disaster movie, so I knew there was no way that any part of the movie was funny. But still, there was a girly laugh coming from somewhere in room. Tony seemed unbothered, but I scanned the room with squinted eyes to identify the culprit. Finally my eyes landed on two silhouettes in the far left corner of the theater.  
After attempts at shushing them failed, I stood up and made my way over to them, careful not to disturb any of the other moviegoers (even though it wasn't exactly a full house) and quietly cleared my throat.  
"Uh, excuse me. But you guys are making a little too much noise. Could you quiet down please?"  
I jumped when the two silhouettes faced me and the light coming from the screen illuminated their faces: James and Pier.  
Damn. I thought. I fucked up. Bad.  
James stood up and said, "Look who it is."  
Oh Jimmy, please don't make a scene. I thought. I'd hoped my worry didn't show on my face.  
I frowned. My mouth was so dry on the inside all of a sudden that I almost couldn't speak.  
I forced myself to say, "I'm just as surprised to see you guys here."  
Jimmy furrowed his brow. "Oh, I bet you are. So who are you here with? Your new little boyfriend, Tonyyyy?"  
"As a matter of fact, she is." I heard Tony's voice come up behind me. "Is there a problem here?"  
Oh sweet mother of pearl.  
"Yeah, we have a problem here. Your little girlfriend is over here harassing me and my lady."  
"I'm sure she wasn't harassing you. You were over here making noise. You need to keep it down."  
"I think what YOU need to do." Jimmy started, stepping a bit closer to Tony. "Is take your puppet and get the hell out of here."  
It was almost laughable to see James' 5 foot 8 inches standing in front of Tony at 6 foot 2.  
I guessed that I was the puppet in question. I shook my head.  
"Ugh! Tony, I'm so sorry. Let's just go alright?" They're not worth it."  
Tony didn't look like he wanted to let it be but I grabbed his hand pulled him away from the useless conflict.  
"That's what I thought." James taunted from behind us. "You better listen to her."  
On the ride home, I apologized to Tony again. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know they were there. I hope you don't think I planned to run into them or anything."  
Tony giggled. "It's okay, I promise. And no I don't think that. That's can always try again with something else. To be honest, that movie was as dry as burnt toast. I needed some excitement. Didn't you?"  
I laughed. I had enjoyed being with Tony, regardless of our little tiff with Jimmy at the movies.  
When Tony pulled up in front of my house, I made a move to hipe out of the car and head in but Tony stopped me.  
"Wait."  
"What is it?" I asked.  
Tony looked at me, and he seemed conflicted, like he wondered what he was doing.  
He reached his hand up and rubbed my cheek, running his fingers up and down my jawline gently.  
He then leaned forward, and kissed me, almost the same way he'd done at the park, except he slowly pushed his tongue into my mouth. I didn't make a hasty escape this time, but reciprocated by pressing my tongue up against his.  
Tony was the one to pull away. His face, all the way up to his hairline and extending down his neck was a bright red.  
He chuckled nervously. "I'm sorry, I just..."  
"It's fine." I said, reassuringly.  
Tony once again placed his lips on mine, kissing first the top, then the bottom. He breathed out a sigh and buried his face in my neck.  
"I'm so happy." He said. "I thought you were rejecting me."  
"I could never reject you." I said, rubbing his back.  
Tony pulled me closer to him and held on to me for little while longer, but it felt like an eternity, a perfect eternity. I'd never gotten to feel this way with James. He'd always overlooked me for someone else. But here with Tony, I felt special, like I was the only one.  
It seemed like Tony and I were starting out on a road full of love and happiness.  
But of course  
Roads have dead ends.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
For about 3 and half months, there was no word from Jimmy. He didn't call me, or try to come by my house. He didn't ask anything of me. He didn't try to harrass me. Nothing. It was like I'd never known him at all.  
The only time I saw him, was in magazines where he was being touted as Hollywood's next biggest star for his starring role in East Of Eden.  
Surprisingly, there were less sightings and articles with him and Pier than there had been just a couple of months prior.  
Not so surprising, Pier was making many appearances on her own...and with other young men in Hollywood.  
I chocked it up to the fact that I'd heard James was in New York doing some work for television.  
Not that it mattered to me anyway. We weren't friends. I never liked Pier. They could die and go to hell holding hands for all I cared.  
One night in October, Tony was spending the night at my place. We were laying in my bed, listening to the radio together, when I heard someone knocking at my door.  
A faint knock at first but it became louder and desperate.  
I got up and put my Felix the Cat sweater on and made my way to the front.  
When I opened the door, I saw a rain soaked, teary eyed, pitiful looking little thing.  
"James?" I said, already in a panic, "Is that you?"  
"Yeah." he said, his voice beginning to shake. "Can I come in?"  
I looked back towards the bedroom where I could still hear the radio playing and thought of Tony.  
"Um, I don't really think that's a good idea...I kinda have..."  
"Jade...?" Tony said. "Who's there?"  
Oh my lanta.  
Before I could try and lie and say that no one was there, Tony appeared next to me, brows knitted with the mandatory frown.  
"And just what the hell are you doing here?"  
James opened his mouth to speak but Tony cut him off. "You've caused my girlfriend enough trouble in the past, and you have the nerve to show up unannounced to her house. You need to leave before we call the police on you."  
Jimmy looked between the two of us, tears spilling over from his eyes onto his cheeks. Dejected, he shrugged and turned to leave.  
I'd never seen him that way. He'd been sad but never that...unresponsive, especially not when it came to anything with Tony.  
Tony closed the door, and I just stared at him.  
"What?" Tony said, turning to look at me. "WHAT?!"  
I just rolled my eyes and sighed, shaking my head.  
Tony pursed his lips and headed back for the bedroom.  
I stood in the living room for a moment or so, thinking of why James had come to visit me. Eventually, when nothing seemed to make sense, I shrugged and thought that whatever it was, it was probably his fault.  
I only had to wait one day before I realized why Jimmy had come to my house so upset.  
Pier had unexpectedly announced, to the world, that she intended to marry singer Vic Damone.  
I was sitting with Tony and our friends at Barrie's when we heard some girls come in, talking about it.  
"Now James is going to be single." One of them, a short blonde girl with brown eyes, said.  
Her friend, a brunette with horn rimmed glasses, giggled. "Not for long."  
Both girls laughed at their little insider as they headed to their table.  
I was amazed at how popular James was, even though he was only working on his first movie. I was even more amazed (and a little amused) that Pier had dumped Jimmy, for, of all people, Vic Damone.  
"Did you guys hear about that?" My friend, Lenny piped up. "That Ravioli is getting married? And not to James. But to VIC DAMONE?"  
Tony laughed and shook his head. "Not surprising. I'd rather put up with Damone's singing than Dean's bitching any day."  
I shook my head. "You guys are so mean."  
My other friend, Dot, said, "And you care why? After all those horrible things Jimmy said to you? After he basically chose his relationship of 3 months with miss mostaccioli over his 3 year friendship with you?"  
"Yeah," Mathias, another friend, said, "Why do you care? He's caused both you and Tony some trouble. Pier, too."  
I shrugged as all four of the people I was sitting with, stared me, and I begun to feel a little backed into a corner.  
"I DON'T. I'm just saying. Jimmy came to my door last night, looking all pathetic, and...I felt kinda sorry for the stupid little troll."  
Tony furrowed his brow. "I don't. He deserves anything bad that he gets."  
I shurgged again and said nothing more. Jimmy's problems were out of my hands.

Or so I kept telling myself.  
However, ever since that night he'd come to my house, his clothes soaked through with rain, his eyes bloodshot and spilling over with fat, hot tears, his back hunched and shoulders sloped in defeat, sadness, I couldn't stop thinking of him, and why it is that he'd decided to come to ME, of all people, after he said he cou;d no longer fathom the thought of still being my friend.  
Part of me thought that he didn't mean the words he'd said to me before, that maybe he really did value me as a friend, a person.  
Another part of me thought that, he only wanted me because he had no one else. His river of friends and support had run dry because he runs everyone off with his stand-offish, uncaring, manipulative behavior. That part of me thought he deserved whatever romantic pr otherwise turmoil he was in. He had met his equally manipulative maker with Pier Angeli.  
A portion of me thought about Tony. I felt guilty for thinking about any other boy but him. Since he'd confessed his love for me, I'd fallen in love with him too. I felt safe with him, and I had fun with him. I knew I could rely on Tony. He seemed so wise and much older than me, even if he was only two years older than my 19 years. The last thing I could ever think of doing was hurting him.  
But in the same breath, James would come creeping into my mind with his sad eyes and full lips, his sometimes gentle ways with me, his soft blond hair that he would nonchalantly run his fingers through from time to time when we would sit and talk in my living room, the good times that we DID at some point share as friends, and I got...butterflies. I knew I should've forgotten about all of those things when I started dating Tony, and I'd hoped that I would, and for a short time thought that I did, but..I couldn't help myself.  
Not that I could ever admit that to anyone. Or that I'd ever want to.

A few days later, my friends and I were playing songs in the school auditorium, practicing because our band was going to play in the talent show that year. Our rehearsals usually ran about to about 6 or so. Tony was supposed to be there to pick me up after rehearsal this day, but hadn't shown up yet and it was raining cats and dogs outside.  
My friend Dot offered to drive me home but I wanted to stay and wait for Tony, just in case he did show up, so I told her to go on.  
"Are you sure?" She asked, pulled a hat over her red hair. "It's not exactly out of my way."  
I smiled and shook my head. "I wanna be here when Tony comes. Go ahead."  
She hugged me and told me to call her when I got in. I agreed and watched her and the last few other cast memebers leave.  
Around 20 minutes after the last person left, I decided Tony wasn't coming and headed out on my own, pulling my coat on and opening my umbrella up as I stepped outside.  
I made it about 2 blocks off the campus when I noticed a car driving up on the side of me. The windows were kind of tinted and fogged up with rain and mist, so I couldn't see inside. The person driving the car honked but I didn't stop because I didn't know who was driving and let me just say, I did NOT intend to be snatched.  
I attempted to cross the street, but the car made a turn in a driveway, pulled out and blocked the street and obstructed my view of the rest of the street.  
My heart started to beat about 100 miles per second. I looked around for other people, just in case this situation turned sour, but I was the only other person around besides the person driving this car and it was getting darker by the second.  
The car stayed idle for a second and I stood, unsure if I should make a run for it, or not. Just as I'd decided to make a retreat, the passenger side window slowly rolled down, revealing it's driver.  
"Jimmy." I said, breathing a sigh of relief. "You fucking scared me. I thought you were going to kidnap me."  
He let out a brittle laugh and leaned to open the car door. "I am kidnapping you. Get in."  
I hesitated but I figured a free ride home was no big deal and got in the car.  
Jim spun the car around, and headed towards my house. We didn't say much, if anything , to each other.  
I looked over and examined him. He was wearing his thick bi-focals, an argyle sweater and brown pants. Nothing about him looked different. I wanted to ask him how he was doing without Pier and why he was once again seeking me out but I thought it best not to.  
When he pulled into my driveway, I hopped out and began to hurry towards the door but stopped when I realized Jimmy had gotten out of the car and followed me.  
I didn't know what to say to him, so I opened the door and allowed him to come in with me. He closed the door behind me, locked it (which is something he almost never did when he came over) and followed me into the kitchen. I set my bag down in a chair at the table and began making coffee. Jimmy stood, leaned on the counter, his blue eyes watching me closely.  
I smiled awkwardly, and said, "Do you want coffee?"  
"Sure." he said.  
But he still didn't sit down, just stayed leaned up against the counter.  
I was relieved when the coffee was done brewing and I put the pot and two mugs on the table. Jimmy sat down and poured himself some.  
I sat down with him and I sipped my coffee in silence, hoping maybe Jimmy would tell me what his purpose for coming was on his own. I spooned sugar into my cup and stirred it around absent-mindedly for a couple minutes.  
I started to hear a weird gasping sound and my head shot up and I saw Jimmy was in the early stages of breaking down. His cheeks were suddenly streaked with little mini salty rivers.  
"Jimmy.." I started calmly, unsure of what to say first, "What is it? Why are you crying?"  
"I just can't believe she let her ma and all her friends convince her not to be with me."  
He pushed his cup aside and lay his head on the table. I frowned.  
He continued. "She has no will whatsoever. And to marry VIC DAMONE. She could never love him. No matter what she says, she'll always belong to me."  
"Well, I mean...Uh..." I stumbled for something to say.  
Jimmy was in pieces, I was struck by the sudden urge to get up and wrap my arms around him.  
I stood up and went over to him, gently taking him in my arms and holding him. His body seemed small, and fragile.  
He shifted and nestled his head in the crook of my arm, and pulled me close to him, while he continued to sob.  
I just rubbed his back and whispered reassuring things in his ear like "It'll be alright" and "Pier will realize what a mistake she's making." I said these things, despite the fact that I was literally jumping for joy inside.(I know I've said this earlier in the course of this story, but I couldn't stand Pier. I just want to make that COMPLETELY, 100% clear.)  
We stayed like this forever (well in reality, it was more like...a half an hour) before he stopped crying. He continued to hold on to me. I pulled away first.  
He looked up into my eyes and I looked directly into his. They were bloodshot and the blue looked a stormy grey. He removed his glasses and I could see the puffy bags under his eyes, that looked dark purplish, like he hadn't been able to sleep in years.  
Jimmy let out a deep, anguished, sigh. His body seemed to shake but the tears weren't coming as steady and soon, not at all.  
Then he did something that I'd never thought him capable.  
"Jade...I'm...I'm sorry, okay?"  
I was so taken aback by his apology that I stared at him, lost, eyes wide.  
"I'm so sorry." He repeated, tears beginning to fall again. "I just fuck everything up, don't I?"  
"I...well..." I tried to speak, but I was so shocked, you could've knocked me over with a feather. James saying sorry for something? Him, without his cool front and brick wall up?  
"You're one of the only true friends I got and I had to mess that up too. I'm just meant to be alone."  
"Don't say that, Jim. You'll always have me. Thats what friends are supposed to do. They stay through whatever. Don't ever feel like you're alone. If Pier leaves, I'm here." I said, and smiled.  
Jimmy pulled me close to him once again.  
"You're going to get tired of me real quick."  
I laughed and sighed. "I'm already tired of you. But I won't ever not be here for you."  
Jimmy squeezed me tighter and held me for a moment or so.  
My telephone rung and he let me go so I could answer it.  
I picked up and said hello.  
"Hello? Jade, this is Tony."  
"Hey, baby! Whats up?"  
"I just got in the house. I had such a hellish day. I'm so sorry I didn't come for you today. I couldn't get to you in time and I had no way of reaching you."  
"It's okay. I'm glad you're okay, now." I said, suddenly thinking of James,who'd brought me home instead and who was still sitting in my kitchen.  
"You are so understanding." Tony said with a smile in his voice. "I want to see you tonight, though, and I can tell you all about my day and you can tell me about yours, too."  
"Ummmm..." I started, struggling to find the words, and suddenly PANICKING about James still sitting in my kitchen. "Well..."  
"I'm on my way now. See you soon, beautiful." Tony said, completely ignoring my hesitation, and hung up.  
I set the retriver down and started thinking desperately of what to say to Jimmy to make him leave. If I told him straight out, either he'd think everything I'd just said about me staying with him, was a lie, that I was already abandoning him for Tony, or he'd enjoy taking part in watching me squirm in front of Tony, while trying to explain why he was there. Tony would be there in MAYBE 10 minutes and I didn't want him to see Jimmy anywhere near the house.  
I hurried into the kitchen, where James was resting over the back of the kitchen chair. He looked up, cocked his head, and gave a half smile.  
"You look nervous."  
"Huh? Pffft..." I said, laughing anxiously, and looking over at the clock. "Why would I be nervous?"  
"Tony isn't coming over tonight?" James asked, standing up to face me.  
"Umm..."  
Jimmy put a hand up to stop me. "It's fine. I'm not really in the mood to fight your little boyfriend tonight anyways. I'll go."  
I breathed a sigh of relief and gave him a quick hug, grateful for how intuitive he was sometimes.  
When I let go, he put his glasses back on, waved goodbye and turned around to head towards the door. But he spun back around really fast and made a bee line for where I was standing. He placed a kiss on the side of my mouth and quickly headed for the door again. Before I could even react, he was gone.  
I sat down and tried to take a deep breath but I had no more time to think before Tony came knocking. I opened the door for him and he scooped me up in his arms and kissed me.  
He kicked the door closed and grabbed my hand, bringing me to sit down on the sofa.  
"I'm so happy to finally be here with you." Tony said, putting his arm around me. "All I could think of was being here with you."  
"Awww. I'm happy you're here with me too." I said, feeling a twinge of guilt.  
That twinge of guilt turned into full flames in my chest, when Tony asked me "Well, how'd you get home?" and when I replied, "Oh, I, uh...I walked.", Tony's eyes drooped and he just looked so sad, I thought he was going to break down into tears.  
"I'm so sorry you had to walk home in the rain." He said.  
"It's okay. I came right in, got out of my wet clothes, drank some coffee and now I'm fine. It's okay, I promise."  
He still looked like he felt horrible but I smiled and rubbed his cheek. "It's fine."  
He attempted a smile. "Okay. If you say so."  
I said so.  
I hated that he felt bad when I was the one who was a liar. I was the one who was a low down dirty liar.  
I was the one who should be sorry.  
I was officially working on my status as a heart breaker.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Tony stayed over as usual and we made love (as usual) and we stayed up making corny jokes about whatever came on the radio (as usual) and (as usual), I loved being with him.  
But when Tony went to sleep, my mind drifted over to James and what he might have been doing at that moment. Had he and Pier maybe patched it up after he left my house? Part of me actually hoped they had.  
After that night, I wanted Jimmy to go away. Not because I didn't want him around. But BECAUSE I wanted him around.  
I had feelings that no one should have when they're already in a relationship with another person.  
I quickly learned though, that Jimmy and Pier had most definitely NOT patched things up, as evidenced by the umpteen calls and the many unsolicited visits James made to my house.  
Pier's wedding to Vic was fastly approaching, and Jimmy clung to me, I was one of the only sources of support, it seemed. Sometimes he would just come over and lay on the floor, crying silently or staring blankly up at the ceiling, or he would unload all of his feelings from that day on me. I would sit and listen.  
I'd heard all about Vic and how he approached Jimmy in a bar one night, hoping for some type of a blessing from Jimmy (He must not have known Jimmy so well), and Jimmy told him off, and they, well...engaged in some fisticuffs.  
For a while though, Jimmy disappeared and the calls and the random visits stopped.  
That is, until November 24th, 1954: Pier's wedding.  
I knew James had gone, even though he'd told me that Pier specifically said for him not to, and a mutual friend of Pier and I, Andrew Keith, had been invited. He called me right after the ceremony and said that he'd seen James sitting across the street on his bike, crying. When Pier and Vic walked out onto the steps of the church, Jimmy revved up his motorcycle and sped off down the road.  
I'd heard not a peep from Jimmy that day and around 6 or so, I decided to go to him instead. I picked up some coffee ice cream (his favorite) and bought it over his house. When I walked up to his door, I easily pushed it open (it was cracked) and went in.  
I looked around but there was no sign of Jim anywhere. I went down the hall to his bedroom and peaked in, The room was dark, cold, like a cave. It looked like no one had been in there for years. Finally, I made out Jimmy, sitting on the floor. He was staring, unblinking, unseeing, at the white wall. His hair was messier than usual, and he still had those really heavy bags under his eyes. He was rocking back and forth, not quite in fetal position but close enough, with a picture of Pier in his hands. I wanted to check on him, to make sure he was goint to be okay but I thought it best that I give James some space for a little...to clear his head. So I slowly crept back out, put the ice cream in the freezer, and left.  
Four days later, Tony, me, Dottie, Mathias, Lenny, and two other friends, Thom, and Lizzette, were having a sleepover at my house. Tony had ordered a pizza at around 9 o clock and when the bell rang, I sprang up to answer the door.  
But when I opened the door, it wasn't a delivery man.  
"Hey." James said, standing there with his hands shoved down in his jean pockets.  
Uh, hi, Jim. What's up?" I asked.  
He shrugged. "The usual shit. Can I come in?"  
"Uhhhh..." I hesitated thinking of the impending trouble if Tony caught James anywhere around.  
Jimmy put a hand up to stop me. "It's fine. Can you step out for a second though? I really gotta talk to you."  
I took a quick glance behind me where my boyfriend was with all our friends, and stepped outside, closing the door quietly behind me.  
"So what's going on?" I asked.  
Jimmy exhaled a large breath and running his fingers through his hair, he said "Well...I...I've been...uh"  
He tugged on his leather jacket nervously. I had never seen Jimmy nervous or anxious about anything, really. So his behavior was odd.  
"Spit it out, Jim." I said, just as nervous as he was now.  
"I've been thinking a lot about you lately." He mumbled.  
My throat suddenly felt like it was gonna close up.  
"You've been so great. You're always great, and I know I haven't been so great to you in the past." He continued. "And I've been thinking about you. And...I know I fucking fail at being a friend, or anything else but I want you to give me a chance..."  
"Well, we're friends, Jim. I told you that you don't have to worry..."  
"No..." He said,seemingly frustrated. He paced back and forth for a second, then stepped closer to me, hooked his fingers over the belt on my pants and pulled me closer to him, and pushed his lips up against mine. They were soft and full, and he tasted sweet, like sugar, and also a little of cigarette smoke.  
He moved his mouth down to my neck and I ran my own fingers through his silky blond hair. Jimmy's warm kisses and his body pressed against mine filled me with a feeling that I couldn't quite put my hand on. I'd not felt it before.  
But a surge of panic and guilt made me pull away. I shot a glance backwards at the house once more. What if Tony had seen anything from the windows?  
Jim looked up at me with those lost boy eyes, and pouted.  
"Uh, well.." I said, laughing anxious to get away. "Nice seeing you but I really gotta go! Bye!"  
Before he could say anything, I forced the door open and closed it hastily, even locking both locks.  
Everyone was in the kitchen, drinking cups of vodka and lemonade.  
They all looked up when I walked back in, eyes standing wide, mouth in a half grin of both happiness and horror.  
Tony walked over to me, concerned. "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
I shook my head robotically. "Nah, I'm fine."  
"Where's the food? You were gone an awful long time to be getting a pizza." Dot piped up, smiling at me.  
"Huh? Oh, I, uh...the pizza guy totally messed the order up so he went back to fix it. No biggie."Everyone seemed satisfied with my half-assed explanation and went back to sippin and joking about something I was too busy making out with Jimmy to know about. Except Dot. She grinned an almost knowing grin every time she looked over at me, wrapped up in Tony's arms, for the rest of the night. And every time, my stomach would do about a thousand somersaults, and my heart would skip what seemed like 3 beats.

And when the pizza actually came, I volunteered her to go get it.  
When everyone was asleep or in their own little corner of the house, I stepped outside and sat down on the front steps. I sighed. I didn't want to be in there with Tony, who was loving and loyal and dserved better than someone who couldn't be devoted to him completely. Because let's face, I was in love. Head over heels for Jimmy.  
I debated whether I should continue on with Tony. Don't get me wrong: I was in love with Tony. But I felt like I should only be in love with him. And that just wasn't the case.  
Then I thought about whether or not James was for real or not. It hadn't even been a week before the woman he so wanted to marry and the one he was so torn up over had married another man. I decided that I had to be just a rebound for him and nothing more. I decided that if he wanted a rebound, then he could have one but not with me. He wasn't going to use me or take advantage of me anymore. I had someone I loved and who I knew loved me. James could do what he wanted.  
But as for Dot...I was afraid. Had she seen anything? Why was she smiling? And acted so weird? She was my bestfriend and I didn't doubt her loyalty but still...I was nervous.  
I felt dizzy thinking of all this. I felt like in an odd way, the universe was like...punishing me or something.  
And the punishment wasn't over.


End file.
